August 30, 2011
I asked several people to tell me what aggravated them about me. Here are the results:
Anna:
Too Quiet
Don't Defend Myself
Hufflepuff-ish
Michelle:
Too Judgmental
Not enough Self-Confidence
Impatient
Josh:
Sarcastic
Shanon:
Oversensitive
Overdramatic
Immature
Colleen:
Bad Jokes
Sam:
Short
Mom:
Neglectful
Dad:
Procrastinates Too Much
It actually wasn't too hard for me to hear any of these. Except when Sam told me I was short, because that just hurt. That's the one thing on this list that I can't change. I do plan to change some of these things, if that's possible.
I want to change the following things:
Don't Defend Myself
Too Judgmental
Not Enough Self-Confidence
Overdramatic
Immature
Neglectful
So I hope to become someone who defends myself, is not judgmental, is confident and not too dramatic, is mature, and is not neglectful or irresponsible. The other things on the list are either things that I like about myself or just too hard to change. Habits are hard to break, especially if they define who you are. I feel like being quiet and oversensitive are just part of who I am.
August 31, 2011
Today, I was tempted to become irritated when Shanon said things that I wanted to argue with in English. It was difficult not to be upset. Also, when Danny came to sit at our table during lunch, like everything's all of a sudden just 'okay' with us (even though I put a note in his locker asking if he wanted to still be friends after he dumped me... but then I found out that he cheated on me so I'm not sure I want to be his friend now). Anyway, that made me angry too, but I just left the table and went to hide by the choir room and read my book where it was safe and ex-free. I think avoiding a bad situation is better than letting your anger out.
I just talk about my life in a very illiterate and teenage girl-y way. If that bothers you don't read this. It's kind of just my diary anyway. And if you read this and come across a character who seems a lot like you with a similar name, STOP READING!! cause I probably know you in real life.
Starfish!

I drew these with my Bamboo tablet.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Colleges I'm Applying To
....because I need to delete the Word document. So here ya go!
· Case Western Reserve University
· University of Connecticut
· Cornell University
· University of North Carolina, Greensboro
· Baylor University
· Chapman University
· Clemson University
· University of Delaware
· Tufts University
An Excellent Three-Part Face Mask
For normal to dry skin. Three stages. (:
Exfoliating – Brown sugar, oatmeal, cornmeal
Wet face with warm water. Massage exfoliating ingredients into skin. Rinse thoroughly.
Mask – milk, yogurt, honey, egg white, banana, apple
Massage generously onto face. Leave on for about 10 minutes. Rinse thoroughly and gently.
Toner – Apple cider vinegar + water
Apply to face. Rinse after a few seconds. Pat face dry gently.
Enjoy beautiful, glowing skin!
Love is Thoughtful
August 29, 2011
Today I asked several people how they were: Zach, Shanon, Colleen, Kali, my dad, and my mom. Shanon and Kali seemed annoyed by my questioning, probably because I was asking them during Calculus, the hardest class ever. Zach seemed happy and responded nicely, because he doesn't get stressed out by silly things like Calc. Colleen was just like, "whatever." My mom and dad were nice about it and asked me how I was too. Overall I would say it was a success.
I definitely think that showing you care about other people is a good thing to do and it builds a stronger connection with them.
I began the ULTIMATE LOVE DARE #1 today as well! I put notes saying things like, "Hey Skyler! You're awesome." into approximately 15 students' lockers during lunch and after school. Hopefully the notes brightened their day a little bit. Only about 450 more to go!
I feel like I'm taking this Love Dare a little too seriously. But it's fun. (:
Today I asked several people how they were: Zach, Shanon, Colleen, Kali, my dad, and my mom. Shanon and Kali seemed annoyed by my questioning, probably because I was asking them during Calculus, the hardest class ever. Zach seemed happy and responded nicely, because he doesn't get stressed out by silly things like Calc. Colleen was just like, "whatever." My mom and dad were nice about it and asked me how I was too. Overall I would say it was a success.
I definitely think that showing you care about other people is a good thing to do and it builds a stronger connection with them.
I began the ULTIMATE LOVE DARE #1 today as well! I put notes saying things like, "Hey Skyler! You're awesome." into approximately 15 students' lockers during lunch and after school. Hopefully the notes brightened their day a little bit. Only about 450 more to go!
I feel like I'm taking this Love Dare a little too seriously. But it's fun. (:
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Love is Not Selfish
August 28, 2011
Today I went to Smoothie King to get smoothies for my dad and brother. It only cost me about $5 because I had a coupon, but I DID have to drive all the way there, and it was hard not to just drink them myself. They were both really happy because they like smoothies and I think they really appreciated the gesture. It was definitely worthwhile and not that demanding on my time or money.
Today I went to Smoothie King to get smoothies for my dad and brother. It only cost me about $5 because I had a coupon, but I DID have to drive all the way there, and it was hard not to just drink them myself. They were both really happy because they like smoothies and I think they really appreciated the gesture. It was definitely worthwhile and not that demanding on my time or money.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Love is Patient, Love is Kind
August 26, 2011
Did anything happen today to cause you anger?
My boyfriend dumped me the day before, and he showed up at the football game and completely ignored me. I wanted to talk to him about it, or at least pretend like we were friends again. I was really mad at him but I was not tempted to say anything mean or 'inappropriate' to him. I addressed the temptation by thinking about happy things and talking to my friends about it later.
Today was also the day I got a hold of all the locker assignments for everyone in the school to begin the first Ultimate Love Dare.
August 27, 2011
What act of kindness did you do?
I helped my mom with making cookies and dinner. It was actually really fun, talking to my mom more than I usually do, and eating raw cookie dough. She seemed happy that I wanted to spend time with her. I feel like doing this was a good habit to get into, not just with my mom but with everyone in life.
Refraining from negativity went pretty well. I am trying to say nothing but positive or neutral things to everyone I know, and it's not easy but at least I don't regret saying anything rude or mean.
Did anything happen today to cause you anger?
My boyfriend dumped me the day before, and he showed up at the football game and completely ignored me. I wanted to talk to him about it, or at least pretend like we were friends again. I was really mad at him but I was not tempted to say anything mean or 'inappropriate' to him. I addressed the temptation by thinking about happy things and talking to my friends about it later.
Today was also the day I got a hold of all the locker assignments for everyone in the school to begin the first Ultimate Love Dare.
August 27, 2011
What act of kindness did you do?
I helped my mom with making cookies and dinner. It was actually really fun, talking to my mom more than I usually do, and eating raw cookie dough. She seemed happy that I wanted to spend time with her. I feel like doing this was a good habit to get into, not just with my mom but with everyone in life.
Refraining from negativity went pretty well. I am trying to say nothing but positive or neutral things to everyone I know, and it's not easy but at least I don't regret saying anything rude or mean.
Love Dare Intro
Throughout my 17 years of existence, I've come to realize several things about life.
1. Friends are people who appreciate you for who you are.
2. The only person you can count on 100% of the time is yourself.
3. If you don't believe in yourself, who will?
4. There is nothing more important or prominent in our hearts than the desire - no, need - to be loved and cared for by others.
Love is the meaning of life. Whether it's God's love, love for our family, friends, or pets, or being "in love", love is at the center of everything we do. Everyone needs love. Therefore I have decided to do this love dare to EVERYONE. Because they all need my love.
Obviously I can't do all of these dares to every single person I know. Therefore I have chosen a few people on which to act out the more specific dares.
My mom and dad
My friends Shanon, Erin, Anna, Maddie
The guys Zach and Aaron
The exes Danny and Josh
My french horn teacher
I have also taken it upon myself to complete two "ULTIMATE LOVE DARES".
The first one: After the first two weeks of school, I took down the sheets in the hallway with all the students' locker assignments listed on them and I now have them in my possession. Throughout the next couple of months, I will be going through the lists and leaving personalized notes of love, encouragement, and hope to each student in their locker via Post-it. I want to spread the love to everyone. And I know that high-schoolers often go through tough times, whether it be family issues, loneliness, depression, or whatever. Even if they seem really happy, people can always appreciate knowing that someone cares about them. No, this won't change the world, but maybe it'll make people's days a little bit better.
The second one: This isn't really a big deal, but, well, I play Neopets. And I have this REALLY RARE neopet that I've had for awhile. Now, I'm a senior in high school. And it's a little bit pathetic that I still play Neopets. So I'm giving this Neopet away to someone who I think will really appreciate it. Some of the kids that play Neopets use it as an escape. Their home life sucks, they don't have any friends, they're dying of cancer, they are just really unhappy with their life. Hopefully I can brighten someone's life a little bit by giving them something that's considered really valuable - virtually of course. And once I've given this neopet away, I can delete my account and focus on real life and spreading the love even more. So, throughout the next couple of months, I will be trying to find the perfect and most deserving person to get this neopet.
1. Friends are people who appreciate you for who you are.
2. The only person you can count on 100% of the time is yourself.
3. If you don't believe in yourself, who will?
4. There is nothing more important or prominent in our hearts than the desire - no, need - to be loved and cared for by others.
Love is the meaning of life. Whether it's God's love, love for our family, friends, or pets, or being "in love", love is at the center of everything we do. Everyone needs love. Therefore I have decided to do this love dare to EVERYONE. Because they all need my love.
Obviously I can't do all of these dares to every single person I know. Therefore I have chosen a few people on which to act out the more specific dares.
My mom and dad
My friends Shanon, Erin, Anna, Maddie
The guys Zach and Aaron
The exes Danny and Josh
My french horn teacher
I have also taken it upon myself to complete two "ULTIMATE LOVE DARES".
The first one: After the first two weeks of school, I took down the sheets in the hallway with all the students' locker assignments listed on them and I now have them in my possession. Throughout the next couple of months, I will be going through the lists and leaving personalized notes of love, encouragement, and hope to each student in their locker via Post-it. I want to spread the love to everyone. And I know that high-schoolers often go through tough times, whether it be family issues, loneliness, depression, or whatever. Even if they seem really happy, people can always appreciate knowing that someone cares about them. No, this won't change the world, but maybe it'll make people's days a little bit better.
The second one: This isn't really a big deal, but, well, I play Neopets. And I have this REALLY RARE neopet that I've had for awhile. Now, I'm a senior in high school. And it's a little bit pathetic that I still play Neopets. So I'm giving this Neopet away to someone who I think will really appreciate it. Some of the kids that play Neopets use it as an escape. Their home life sucks, they don't have any friends, they're dying of cancer, they are just really unhappy with their life. Hopefully I can brighten someone's life a little bit by giving them something that's considered really valuable - virtually of course. And once I've given this neopet away, I can delete my account and focus on real life and spreading the love even more. So, throughout the next couple of months, I will be trying to find the perfect and most deserving person to get this neopet.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Saw That One Coming
Danny Broke Up With Me Today.
Around 3 PM. Right after school.
I was like, "What's Going On?"
He's like, "Sigh. I don't think this is gonna work out.I mean, we're friends. Sorry I've been avoiding you."
"That's Cool. Nice acting skills."
"Yeah."
"See you later."
One month, 8 ish days? I'll figure it out later. =/
I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE.
Around 3 PM. Right after school.
I was like, "What's Going On?"
He's like, "Sigh. I don't think this is gonna work out.I mean, we're friends. Sorry I've been avoiding you."
"That's Cool. Nice acting skills."
"Yeah."
"See you later."
One month, 8 ish days? I'll figure it out later. =/
I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Birthday Wishlist
So. Just had my first day of school as a senior today. Danny didn't really talk to me, except when I first saw him with our group of friends (and Jared) and sat down next to him, he said "Hey you" in this kinda significant way, but obvi we couldn't talk in front of Jared or anyone else. He pretty much ignored me the rest of the day. At lunch he asked me what I was drinking. (V8 light fruit juice). He sat across from me at the table (IN THE COURTYARD, WHERE WE GET TO SIT CAUSE WE'RE --SENIOURS--- !!!!
Anyway. I'm working on homework and decided to take a break to type up things I want for my birthday, which I have been compiling a list of in the drafts on my phone. So! Here ya go.
Calendars
Rug/mat for room
Chapstick (burt's bees, or any organic chapstic)
Speakers for my iPod
Laptop mouse
Taylor Lautner poster
Gel pens
Keychains
Fuzzy dice
Steering wheel cover
Blue/purple/pink hair dye from Hot Topic
Mirror that can hang on my wall (cool one at antique mall?)
Gym membership/dance/yoga/pilates/tai chi classes or DVDs of similar exercises
Little georgie removed
Ponytail holders in black and assorted bright neon colors
Barnes and Noble bag - white and green, 29.95
or Vera Bradley bag (also at B&N)
Feather pen and ink
Febreeze
Perfume
Analog clock to hang on my wall
OR a little digital one for my nightstand
iTunes giftcard
Season 1 of Dawson's creek
Black liquid eyeliner
Black/brown kohl
Blank CDs
GPS for my car
Face masks
Organic shampoo/conditioner/lotion - find at Whole Foods? Jessica Alba's brand Alba is cool
Real bacon
CDs of nature sounds esp. rain, thunderstorms, etc
& there you have it.
Anyway. I'm working on homework and decided to take a break to type up things I want for my birthday, which I have been compiling a list of in the drafts on my phone. So! Here ya go.
Calendars
Rug/mat for room
Chapstick (burt's bees, or any organic chapstic)
Speakers for my iPod
Laptop mouse
Taylor Lautner poster
Gel pens
Keychains
Fuzzy dice
Steering wheel cover
Blue/purple/pink hair dye from Hot Topic
Mirror that can hang on my wall (cool one at antique mall?)
Gym membership/dance/yoga/pilates/tai chi classes or DVDs of similar exercises
Little georgie removed
Ponytail holders in black and assorted bright neon colors
Barnes and Noble bag - white and green, 29.95
or Vera Bradley bag (also at B&N)
Feather pen and ink
Febreeze
Perfume
Analog clock to hang on my wall
OR a little digital one for my nightstand
iTunes giftcard
Season 1 of Dawson's creek
Black liquid eyeliner
Black/brown kohl
Blank CDs
GPS for my car
Face masks
Organic shampoo/conditioner/lotion - find at Whole Foods? Jessica Alba's brand Alba is cool
Real bacon
CDs of nature sounds esp. rain, thunderstorms, etc
& there you have it.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Pro/Con Lists
Bulimia
Pros:
Easier to hide
You still get the enjoyment of eating food
Cons:
Kind of disgusting
Wasteful
Rots your teeth
Anorexia
Pros:
Works faster
Is easier
Cons:
Hard to hide
Can be hard for the first few days
Makes you feel weak and dizzy
I just ate a bunch of chicken mcnuggets (soooo good with sweet & sour sauce) and then tried to make myself throw up. I couldn't. I fail at self-harm. When I try to starve myself, I give in and end up eating normally again. When I stick something down my throat to try and throw up, nothing happens. When I try to cut myself, I can't press hard enough to spill blood. Maybe this is a good thing. But this way no one'll ever know what I'm going through.
Pros:
Easier to hide
You still get the enjoyment of eating food
Cons:
Kind of disgusting
Wasteful
Rots your teeth
Anorexia
Pros:
Works faster
Is easier
Cons:
Hard to hide
Can be hard for the first few days
Makes you feel weak and dizzy
I just ate a bunch of chicken mcnuggets (soooo good with sweet & sour sauce) and then tried to make myself throw up. I couldn't. I fail at self-harm. When I try to starve myself, I give in and end up eating normally again. When I stick something down my throat to try and throw up, nothing happens. When I try to cut myself, I can't press hard enough to spill blood. Maybe this is a good thing. But this way no one'll ever know what I'm going through.
Hate and Hang Sandwiches
I made this CD for my friend Shanon and went to give it to her after cross country practice this morning. I mainly did this so that I could see Danny, my boyfriend... is that weird? I mean, it's been three weeks and two days since we'd last seen each other. I don't know what I was looking for, but it definitely wasn't worth it.
He was there, of course. He was wearing red. He had some kind of headband that looked really stupid on his head. His hair looked a little longer. Which is nice. He didn't get closer than like five feet from me, though. And he talked to me like we were just friends. We talked about calculus. It was dumb. I guess I could've made a move or asked him to talk, but I was still sort of mad at him.
I know we must still be dating because a few days ago on facebook chat he said he was sorry for being a bad boyfriend. He's been grounded from his car (for getting a speeding ticket) and his phone's 'out of messages' and yeah.
But... what's going to happen when school starts?
a) He acts like we're just friends and we don't ever do anything. Maybe asks me to homecoming.
b) He completely ignores me when other people are around but maybe we hang out on the weekends.
c) We act like boyfriend and girlfriend are supposed to act. PDA plz? I choose this option k.
Maybe he's gonna wait until September 8th to go public with our relationship. Which is three months after I broke up with Joshie. I guess that makes sense. But is he expecting me to just wait around for him? I'm going INSANE here.
faewofjwoeiprujaoienwfsoawejfnlekjrfoiwaehfoiwejfklaenw;fokljnasoficnawefhuruewhgfowifu3j89r2oiwehnkjvanfiojwefaljnsledkcznfkslnfkejsnfiwanheifnkjsadenhfkldsjfkldsjfaoiwejoifhewioagnakldsnvkdjnxvfiurheoghoirehgaengjfvnhewdifweiofoiajsfl;sjdofijwioejroiwejoiqwjioedjsklmckz,lmclkdmnvknx,vmnm,cnvkxnfkjdhakfjieowfiroajurfoiajwelkflkwejmfewkijfioewsjafoiejwifovjnsdkalvndxklznvkjdfhweoifhioewjfklasjnfkrnsadfiojweoifiewojfioewjirojwejaweiojfiweojfioajmsjzjoivjiodflkewmnf,ewn,mfrnew,mfnaksenfkjdsjhivhjdifjisoujxivucixyvbuxibyiodewjmrbjkesfhiuwsehfiwehakjfsndjkfnwehifuhaieojfckisdljnklzshdifuhewifioesjfisodhiogdhiuehwiorfjhisoafiosdjhfiohewoiarhuioseufioesjfiosdjfkldjsfakljewiojfieowsjnfkalsdnfklheiwoajfiasdjfihewiofhoisedjdkfjeoihoiankslthiylyhwoantisjnoti tjosdjojewsoijfewoijfisoajjfsdijfujsutjsackanntlnjtsihahdnlelkjitjisjtijpdannyhsidljslkvjeikjsyoujklsjtpleajseljcannyouljikiskjsijmeek ajgoignaiogniniw djoudlrjdkljreally sjlosdjflkesjfioelvoejkisajithtathathskdjoitwejifojasekfjowkfayufioekwjfklweajfrkewjoiS>DF?
He was there, of course. He was wearing red. He had some kind of headband that looked really stupid on his head. His hair looked a little longer. Which is nice. He didn't get closer than like five feet from me, though. And he talked to me like we were just friends. We talked about calculus. It was dumb. I guess I could've made a move or asked him to talk, but I was still sort of mad at him.
I know we must still be dating because a few days ago on facebook chat he said he was sorry for being a bad boyfriend. He's been grounded from his car (for getting a speeding ticket) and his phone's 'out of messages' and yeah.
But... what's going to happen when school starts?
a) He acts like we're just friends and we don't ever do anything. Maybe asks me to homecoming.
b) He completely ignores me when other people are around but maybe we hang out on the weekends.
c) We act like boyfriend and girlfriend are supposed to act. PDA plz? I choose this option k.
Maybe he's gonna wait until September 8th to go public with our relationship. Which is three months after I broke up with Joshie. I guess that makes sense. But is he expecting me to just wait around for him? I'm going INSANE here.
faewofjwoeiprujaoienwfsoawejfnlekjrfoiwaehfoiwejfklaenw;fokljnasoficnawefhuruewhgfowifu3j89r2oiwehnkjvanfiojwefaljnsledkcznfkslnfkejsnfiwanheifnkjsadenhfkldsjfkldsjfaoiwejoifhewioagnakldsnvkdjnxvfiurheoghoirehgaengjfvnhewdifweiofoiajsfl;sjdofijwioejroiwejoiqwjioedjsklmckz,lmclkdmnvknx,vmnm,cnvkxnfkjdhakfjieowfiroajurfoiajwelkflkwejmfewkijfioewsjafoiejwifovjnsdkalvndxklznvkjdfhweoifhioewjfklasjnfkrnsadfiojweoifiewojfioewjirojwejaweiojfiweojfioajmsjzjoivjiodflkewmnf,ewn,mfrnew,mfnaksenfkjdsjhivhjdifjisoujxivucixyvbuxibyiodewjmrbjkesfhiuwsehfiwehakjfsndjkfnwehifuhaieojfckisdljnklzshdifuhewifioesjfisodhiogdhiuehwiorfjhisoafiosdjhfiohewoiarhuioseufioesjfiosdjfkldjsfakljewiojfieowsjnfkalsdnfklheiwoajfiasdjfihewiofhoisedjdkfjeoihoiankslthiylyhwoantisjnoti tjosdjojewsoijfewoijfisoajjfsdijfujsutjsackanntlnjtsihahdnlelkjitjisjtijpdannyhsidljslkvjeikjsyoujklsjtpleajseljcannyouljikiskjsijmeek ajgoignaiogniniw djoudlrjdkljreally sjlosdjflkesjfioelvoejkisajithtathathskdjoitwejifojasekfjowkfayufioekwjfklweajfrkewjoiS>DF?
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Dear Danny
Dear Danny,
Hey, how's life going? I'm just wondering where you've been for the past... 2 weeks and four days. Cause that's how long it's been since I've seen you. Honestly, if you don't like me any more, I just want you to tell it to me straight. As I see it, there are only three real options you have for not seeing me.
1. You don't like me anymore and were just playing around with me.
2. You like me but you're really lazy and don't want to make the effort to see me.
3. You don't know what you want and you're waiting to figure it out/tell Josh/tell your family.
Umm I'm confusing myself at this point.
Danny, I want to be straightforward with you. I really really like you. You're the most handsome guy I know (not that that's important, but, ya know. it's nice.). You have awesome taste in music. You're really nice to me. You're honest. You're super romantic (when we're together). You're an amazing kisser. Hugging you feels like the most wonderful thing in the world. I just feel totally safe and warm in your arms, and there's no place I'd rather be right now. I could hug you for countless hours and not get bored or want to break away. Just being with you makes me the happiest girl in the world. You make me smile. Your eyes are the most dazzling eyes in the world. Your smile is the cutest smile. I love your laugh. I like everything about you.
I just wish you wanted to see me as much as I want to see you.
I keep remembering the night you kissed me... how I was all nervous, avoiding your gaze after you said that what you wanted to do right then was kiss me... and that's what I wanted too, but I was afraid... and then we stood up and it was kind of awkward but you just held me close to you, and my arms were around your neck and your hands around my waist, holding me in your warm embrace, and then you leaned in and I leaned up (cause you're REALLY tall) and I found your lips and closed my eyes and it was the most amazing night of my life.
I wish that could happen again.
I wish you wanted it to happen again.
But there's no way this is gonna work out if you don't put any effort into this.
And hey, a girl can't live on dreams forever.
Even if she does have an extremely vivid imagination and a very legitimate sensographic memory. ;)
So. Farewell. I hope we meet again sometime (before school starts plz?)
Hey, how's life going? I'm just wondering where you've been for the past... 2 weeks and four days. Cause that's how long it's been since I've seen you. Honestly, if you don't like me any more, I just want you to tell it to me straight. As I see it, there are only three real options you have for not seeing me.
1. You don't like me anymore and were just playing around with me.
2. You like me but you're really lazy and don't want to make the effort to see me.
3. You don't know what you want and you're waiting to figure it out/tell Josh/tell your family.
Umm I'm confusing myself at this point.
Danny, I want to be straightforward with you. I really really like you. You're the most handsome guy I know (not that that's important, but, ya know. it's nice.). You have awesome taste in music. You're really nice to me. You're honest. You're super romantic (when we're together). You're an amazing kisser. Hugging you feels like the most wonderful thing in the world. I just feel totally safe and warm in your arms, and there's no place I'd rather be right now. I could hug you for countless hours and not get bored or want to break away. Just being with you makes me the happiest girl in the world. You make me smile. Your eyes are the most dazzling eyes in the world. Your smile is the cutest smile. I love your laugh. I like everything about you.
I just wish you wanted to see me as much as I want to see you.
I keep remembering the night you kissed me... how I was all nervous, avoiding your gaze after you said that what you wanted to do right then was kiss me... and that's what I wanted too, but I was afraid... and then we stood up and it was kind of awkward but you just held me close to you, and my arms were around your neck and your hands around my waist, holding me in your warm embrace, and then you leaned in and I leaned up (cause you're REALLY tall) and I found your lips and closed my eyes and it was the most amazing night of my life.
I wish that could happen again.
I wish you wanted it to happen again.
But there's no way this is gonna work out if you don't put any effort into this.
And hey, a girl can't live on dreams forever.
Even if she does have an extremely vivid imagination and a very legitimate sensographic memory. ;)
So. Farewell. I hope we meet again sometime (before school starts plz?)
Friday, August 5, 2011
Nobody Cries, There's Only Butterflies
Take me away,
to better days.
Take me away,
A secret place,
A sweet escape.
I got a pocket full of sunshineeee.
You know what, Danny? I hate you. And yet, I still really like you.
You're the most amazing guy in person, but there's a problem. You never want to SEE me in person. And you don't text me that much. What's your problem? SERIOUSLY!!!
I mean, I'm actually looking forward to school because I'll see him there... -shudders- .... and I HATE school. Sort of. Even though I'm really good at it. And it keeps me un-bored. But still. This is sick.
I went to help with band music today at school with Shanon and Julia and my ex-boyfriend Jared. It was SUPER fun.... not.... it was really awkward cause Jared and I are supposedly good 'friends' now, but I feel terrible about the fact that I'm now dating his best friend (at least, kind of), and he doesn't know yet. I don't know if he's going to be super upset or not really care, but I'm afraid he'll stop talking to me or get really mad when he finds out. Danny needs to be a man and tell him himself. And he needs to tell his family. It seems like he doesn't care AT ALL about this. And if he doesn't care, I sure shouldn't care. But I do.
I should STRANGLE him.
My brother's girlfriend Gina said he's treating me like crap and that I should break up with him. He should be treating me like a goddess. I mean, really, he doesn't deserve someone as cool as me. I'm amazing. Beautiful, smart, sexxxy, short, quiet, good at cooking, and nice (most of the time).
If only I believed that I was too good for him, and not the other way around.
I bet all this anger I'm feeling towards him is just gonna go *POOF* when I see him next. Cause he's all tall and Irish and charming and beautiful. And he wants a 'low-maintenance' girlfriend. So that's what I have to be.
I disgust myself.
Okay. That's enough for now.
I can't think of how to say goodbye...
so, hello!
to better days.
Take me away,
A secret place,
A sweet escape.
I got a pocket full of sunshineeee.
You know what, Danny? I hate you. And yet, I still really like you.
You're the most amazing guy in person, but there's a problem. You never want to SEE me in person. And you don't text me that much. What's your problem? SERIOUSLY!!!
I mean, I'm actually looking forward to school because I'll see him there... -shudders- .... and I HATE school. Sort of. Even though I'm really good at it. And it keeps me un-bored. But still. This is sick.
I went to help with band music today at school with Shanon and Julia and my ex-boyfriend Jared. It was SUPER fun.... not.... it was really awkward cause Jared and I are supposedly good 'friends' now, but I feel terrible about the fact that I'm now dating his best friend (at least, kind of), and he doesn't know yet. I don't know if he's going to be super upset or not really care, but I'm afraid he'll stop talking to me or get really mad when he finds out. Danny needs to be a man and tell him himself. And he needs to tell his family. It seems like he doesn't care AT ALL about this. And if he doesn't care, I sure shouldn't care. But I do.
I should STRANGLE him.
My brother's girlfriend Gina said he's treating me like crap and that I should break up with him. He should be treating me like a goddess. I mean, really, he doesn't deserve someone as cool as me. I'm amazing. Beautiful, smart, sexxxy, short, quiet, good at cooking, and nice (most of the time).
If only I believed that I was too good for him, and not the other way around.
I bet all this anger I'm feeling towards him is just gonna go *POOF* when I see him next. Cause he's all tall and Irish and charming and beautiful. And he wants a 'low-maintenance' girlfriend. So that's what I have to be.
I disgust myself.
Okay. That's enough for now.
I can't think of how to say goodbye...
so, hello!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wake Me Up
When September Ends.
Dear Danny,
Hey. How's it going?
Guess what? You've now had my Harry Potter book in your possession for over two weeks. Incidentally, that's how long it's been since we've hung out. I'm assuming that you don't want to hang out anymore, and that I'll take a hint and just leave you alone. That's cool.
Actually it's not cool at all, seeing as how I really like you a lot and if you ended it like this I'd be devastated. But, you know. I can't force you to like me. I'd just appreciate it if you'd tell me that you don't like me and never want to see me again.
In the meantime, I'll work on fulfilling your three genie wishes. Number one, a hot girlfriend who's also low-maintenance. I'm trying not to talk to you much so you don't need to worry about 'maintaining' anything. I'm as low maintenance as a Thunderbird but I'll be your Honda anyday. Anyway, I'm already pretty hot, but I'm trying to exercise and not eat so much so I'll be marginally more beautiful than usual, just for you. And my hair's getting really long, and it's curly in the perfect way like Taylor Swift, and it's even brighter blonde from all the summer sun I've been soaking up. And my eyes are especially blue for some reason. Wouldn't you like to see them? I bet.
For your birthday I'm going to fill your locker with Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal boxes, since that was another of your genie wishes.
The third wish was for a '65 Shelby GT Mustang. I checked it out and those run up to 70k. I don't have that kind of money but ONE DAY we'll get married and be super rich and we'll get you that car. I'm going to try to find like a miniature model of one online somewhere. If we stay together, that is.
This is pathetic.
I hope you never read this letter.
Like,
Jessie
Dear Danny,
Hey. How's it going?
Guess what? You've now had my Harry Potter book in your possession for over two weeks. Incidentally, that's how long it's been since we've hung out. I'm assuming that you don't want to hang out anymore, and that I'll take a hint and just leave you alone. That's cool.
Actually it's not cool at all, seeing as how I really like you a lot and if you ended it like this I'd be devastated. But, you know. I can't force you to like me. I'd just appreciate it if you'd tell me that you don't like me and never want to see me again.
In the meantime, I'll work on fulfilling your three genie wishes. Number one, a hot girlfriend who's also low-maintenance. I'm trying not to talk to you much so you don't need to worry about 'maintaining' anything. I'm as low maintenance as a Thunderbird but I'll be your Honda anyday. Anyway, I'm already pretty hot, but I'm trying to exercise and not eat so much so I'll be marginally more beautiful than usual, just for you. And my hair's getting really long, and it's curly in the perfect way like Taylor Swift, and it's even brighter blonde from all the summer sun I've been soaking up. And my eyes are especially blue for some reason. Wouldn't you like to see them? I bet.
For your birthday I'm going to fill your locker with Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal boxes, since that was another of your genie wishes.
The third wish was for a '65 Shelby GT Mustang. I checked it out and those run up to 70k. I don't have that kind of money but ONE DAY we'll get married and be super rich and we'll get you that car. I'm going to try to find like a miniature model of one online somewhere. If we stay together, that is.
This is pathetic.
I hope you never read this letter.
Like,
Jessie
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tonight Tonight
I don't know if I'll make it,
But watch how good I'll fake it.
It's alright, alright
tonight, tonight.
Just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumping
Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down
It's my party, dance if I want to
We can get crazy, let it all out
THIS IS OUR SHOW
I'm bored.
This morning my grandfather passed away. He'd been in the hospital for ten days or so, not in good condition. Sunday's visitation and Monday's the service and burial at Jefferson Barracks.
Two weeks and a day ago, I left Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in my boyfriend's car. I haven't seen him or my book since. I'm now on the FIFTH harry potter book. This is ridiculous.
Speaking of Harry Potter - I still haven't gotten on Pottermore, but my sister has. It's pretty ridiculous.
I really want to see Danny now. But he clearly doesn't want to see me.
What's going to happen when school starts? He hasn't told Josh or his family, and his sister goes to school with us. Is he just gonna ignore me, or pretend we're just friends?
He's grounded now so I can't blame him for that.
But he's just really getting on my nerves. I can't tell if he still actually likes me or if he's trying to break up with me indirectly or whatever. It's dumb. I wonder if he knows how much I like him.
I DON'T love him yet though. Probably.
I've never been in love for serious.
Whoa. I WANNA GO.
(britney spears)
Uncontrollably....
Adios.... detesto mi novio.
But watch how good I'll fake it.
It's alright, alright
tonight, tonight.
Just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumping
Keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down
It's my party, dance if I want to
We can get crazy, let it all out
THIS IS OUR SHOW
I'm bored.
This morning my grandfather passed away. He'd been in the hospital for ten days or so, not in good condition. Sunday's visitation and Monday's the service and burial at Jefferson Barracks.
Two weeks and a day ago, I left Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in my boyfriend's car. I haven't seen him or my book since. I'm now on the FIFTH harry potter book. This is ridiculous.
Speaking of Harry Potter - I still haven't gotten on Pottermore, but my sister has. It's pretty ridiculous.
I really want to see Danny now. But he clearly doesn't want to see me.
What's going to happen when school starts? He hasn't told Josh or his family, and his sister goes to school with us. Is he just gonna ignore me, or pretend we're just friends?
He's grounded now so I can't blame him for that.
But he's just really getting on my nerves. I can't tell if he still actually likes me or if he's trying to break up with me indirectly or whatever. It's dumb. I wonder if he knows how much I like him.
I DON'T love him yet though. Probably.
I've never been in love for serious.
Whoa. I WANNA GO.
(britney spears)
Uncontrollably....
Adios.... detesto mi novio.
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