Texts

June 3

Hey, do you live at (insert my address here)?

(first text ever)

Hahaha im a rapist, and you just confirmed your address to me!

Idk, it's tempting... I hear Jews are good rapees

That's ok it was a cute kinda funny. Like there are goofy funnies and fail funnies but this was a cute funny. So no worries.

(that was about my terrible driving fail, when I hit a curb and he saw...)

July 6

JESSIE REED!!! Youve done worse things than walk through a parking lot naked??? O.o youve got balls, woman! Hmm whats ur idea of the perfect guy? 

NOT dicaprio.

Bahaha i typed that response ANONYMOUSLY (dont worry) to Anna over facebook. She said "well thats pretty much your biography, Danny." so, i guess im allowed to say, nice taste xD

(when I asked who his perfect girl was)

Lol ahem... Blond, blue eyes, bout 5'4",  likes harry potter, loves to travel to places like Florida, obsesses over actors, lets me cheat off her homework...

Did i miss anything? XD

The next day:

Ideal girl? What are you talking about? Did i miss something???

XD before i say anything more, im going to tell you that i turn into a werewolf between the hours of 12and3 and i no longer have control over what i say.

I was sorta playing around, although you ARE really cool... But i couldnt even HINT at liking you or anything for another two months anyway.

July 9

Haha sry big misinterpretation and i feel like an idiot so if you'll excuse me, goodnight, im going to go jump off a cliff.

After the HP party (July 15)

Thx for coming on short notice btw. Def need to do that again sometime =)

Idk tell me your answer first =)

(this was to the question, who would you want to be stuck on an island with for a year)

So, admittedly, my answer is You. I got to thinking and i dont think ive ever been notably mad at you. Go figure O.o

Lol thats cool, glad to hear we dont hate eachother. Oh i got one: whats the kinkiest thing youve ever done?

--- When I told him I thought it was all a lie, about him liking me and stuff...

#1 - what part about that strikes you as a lie? #2 - why do you still have that =P???

Mmm you obviously misunderstand.

So approx 1month ago. Bro Code says i cant even hint at liking you for three months after you break up with mah bro. So, that was my hint without hinting.

Retired and living big in hawaii or alaska. Ur question: how much do you think Shanon will freak when you update her?

Bout what i cleared up tonight. She was going ballistic about me "leading you on" etc...

Um sure if you insist =)

--- What he would wish for from a genie if he had three wishes:

I want a hot girlfriend who's also low maintenance, a '65 Shelby GT Mustang with no speed limits, and an unlimited supply of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Ur turn!

*Sigh* ok ok ok. But that means you owe me something intense. Idk what but something =) um what are the limitations on this game?

Mm heres one: describe your most *romantic* moment. Real or imaginary.

By imaginary i mean a fantasy. Anything from "i want dinner on a moonlit beach" to "i wanna get laid on the Eiffel Tower". Your deepest romantic dream. Capishe?

That sounds cool. Mine's kinda similar. Skinny dipping at a place called Pineshore Lake, then do it on the dock under the full moon and millions of stars.

Did not copy! And of course i havent already done it! My first time will be when i have a ring on mah finger.

Haha never! Lol how many times a day are you gonna do it when youre married?

Bahaha dang jessie thats called nymphomania xD. Lol ill do it as much as mah wifey will allow

fail. When do you find a guy most attractive? i.e. Jeans and a white tshirt working on a car

Haha probly just walking around in nothin but one of mah dress shirts. Thats hot =) ur turn

I trust that you wont tell. I just dont know if im ready to tell it just yet ya know?

----Now, this is the first time he asked me out...

What are you doing right now? ( July 17 at 7:21 PM)

You free tonight?

Wanna do something? Idk what, but something?

Wanna see a movie? Ive got til 10:45 =)

Haha ok ok. Kinda takes the spontaneity out of spontaneous... You want the truth? Ive been sitting in Freddie's Market parking lot for about ten minutes =P

---- First text after we became a couple...

Phew! Its not a ticket, just a warning that if the car wasnt moved within 24 hours, i'd be ticketed.

Wow its been like an hour since i dropped you off and Anna is already texting me about it... How many people have you told???

---- After I asked him out the first time...

I could *probably* convince mah parents to let me go somewhere =)

---- Aand the first text after the first time we kissed... (=

Well.... im alive....yep i put it in mah backseat for later. I guess ill get it to you sometime =)

Hahaha it was NOT your fault. Im as much to blame as you, silly. 'sokay, they usually lemme off groundings early for good behaviour.

Lol good mornin to you too. Tonight was indeed...peachy =P. I have to wake up in like 6hours so imma go to sleep. 'Night, Jessie!

Bahahahaha you told shanon we "kissed under the stars just like in the movies"?

Hahaha this is cool we have like a little chat triangle going on her. Jessie tells shanon, shanon tells me, i laugh at jessie, jessie punches shanon in face. XD

Aw thanks im flattered

Im sorry!!!! I have a busy schedule and it tends to get in the way of things O.o... Anyway how's life, besides rejection?

Sounds gay. Stargazing is totally for wimps!

Thats a "sure if i can convince my parents that im going somewhere else with more ppl". Just gimme a bit of time.

So im thinking today might not be the best weather for Botanical Garden...

Haha well i cant get ahold of either of mah parents to ask them if i can go anywhere O.o so for now we have to wait =(

Can anyone say valedictorian...?

Lol yeah that'll go over well... "mom im going over to this girl's house late at night to watch a chick flick ill be back before tomorrow bye"

Are you just gonna keep a running tally till we see eachother? What happens when it gets too high O.o?

TTYL

Mrs. Jessica Jackal

Life Plans

22: We get married on April 10th, 2016. Big wedding, beautiful white dress, huge white cake, colors: light green and white. Or we can elope if you'd rather. It's not the wedding that matters to me, it's you.
Our honeymoon will be in Ireland with a sidetrip to Australia where you'll serenade me and then we'll do it under the glow of the northern lights, and also to Pineshore Lake where we'll go skinny-dipping (and then do it of course).


We buy a house that's big and white and looks like a castle. 
We'll get a siberian husky and name him Thor Xavier Jackal.
We'll get a maine coon cat and name her Isabella Nicole Jackal.


24: We'll have our first kid - or rather, kids. Twins - Annabel Jane and Ashton James.
26: Third child - Alexa Jade.
27: Our fifth anniversary. Let's go to Paris.
32: Tenth anniversary - I'm feeling Russia.
37: Fifteenth anniversary - England, Ireland, Scotland.
38: Annabel and Ashton go to college: Princeton and Yale, respectively.
40: Alexa goes to college - Harvard, baby!
42: 20th anniversary - Spain.
43: Annabel gets married.
45: Ashton gets married.
47: 25th anniversary - Italy!
50: Alexa gets married.
52: 30th anniversary - Japan.
57: 35th anniversary - Let's chill out in Canada, eh?
58: We move to Alaska for our lovely retirement years.
62: Africa.
67: Carribean.
72: Greece.
77: We're too old for this stuff. 
80: Move to Hawaii. Might as well enjoy our last 40 years.
120: We both die at the exact same moment, in our sleep.

Sound good?

I Don't Wanna Know the Reasons Why

Reasons why Danny is neglecting to ask me to go out with him (I haven't seen him in six days... -sigh-)

1. He's DENNIS-ing me. This is a fail-proof system for getting ladies, seen on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

• Demonstrate value
• Engage physically
• Nurture dependence
• Neglect emotionally (we'd be in this stage right now, I believe?)
• Inspire hope
• Separate entirely 

2. He actually does like me, but he's just really lazy about having a relationship.
3. .... but he can't afford to drive out to see me very often.
4 .....  but his parents won't let him out to see me.
5.  .... but he doesn't want things to move too fast.

6. He realized that he doesn't like me, but he's hoping I'll take a hint and leave him alone.
7. He's afraid that Jared will find out if we go out any more. 
8. He's still pining over his ex-girlfriend(s) and isn't sure how he feels about me.
10. He's trying to mentally prepare me for our future when he's in the Air Force and I never get to see him.
11. He's testing me to see if I break up with him for not spending enough time with me (like his ex-girlfriend).

Hmm.

You Can Go Your Own Way...

I've asked Danny if he wants to go out THREE TIMES in the past two days. Been rejected every time. "My sister has the car..." "You can't drive me because I'm the man in this relationship" "You can't come pick me up cause then my parents will find out and then they won't stop bugging me about it, which wouldn't be worth it at all cause I don't even like you that much..." "I just spent 7 hours doing yard work and heavy lifting, and all I wanna do is sleep, but I'm still gonna stay up till 1AM watching stupid sci-fi movies and posting quotes from them on Facebook where I know you can see them..." "I'm going to be at my aunt's house all day tomorrow..."
ahh that was fun. xD

So anyway, I don't really have a post for THE DANNY DIARIES TODAY seeing as I haven't SEEN HIM for the past four days. -cries-

The memories I have are all that are keeping it together for me. He's like, the perfect guy ever. When I can see him. I really hope he asks me out again soon cause I am NOT making another move until he does. -dramatic sigh-

I'm listening to the Fleetwood Mac album, Rumours. It's soooo good. 

Okay I really don't feel like writing anymore, sorreh.


Adios, mis amores.

-explodes from severe injections of love-

7/19/11
Eeeeee!!!! Okay, minor correction to The Danny Diaries. TONIGHT was the best night of my life. AAAAHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 We went to Laumeier Park (again) and walked around and laid down in the big grassy valley crater thing. Then we left around 8:30 and went to the CCLS playground... then we went to the Catholic playground. And we swung on the swings and SCREW SHANON FOR TELLING DANNY WHAT I TOLD HER
and then we laid down in the grass and just laid there for hours (actually like 2) and he was really warm and he just looked so beautiful. Then he said he wanted to kiss me. So after a lot of awkward minutes of me being scared that he was going to try to french me or something, we stood up, and he put my arms around his neck and his arms around me and he leaned down and kissed me... after the first kiss I was expecting it to end, but he just kept kissing me ... it wasn't just like a normal kiss, but like, again and again, like all smushy and magical. Ahhhhhhhhhh ~~
And then he twirled me around like we were dancing, and we hugged really tightly and he picked me up again...
and as we were walking back he took my hand, smiling really widely, and pulled me behind a building and said, "Uno mas?" and I was like, DUH! (in my head) so we kissed again. And it was just as magical. <3 <3 <3 We held hands for part of the way back. Then he checked his phone... he was way past his curfew of 11:00. But he still took the time to take me to my gate (and run back to the CCLS playground when I thought I'd forgotten my phone there (it was in my pocket... what can I say? I'm blonde.) and then ran back to hug me goodnight at my gate for the second time)
He's the BEST MOST PERFECT BOYFRIEND EVER. I can't believe he likes me...
Oh, he said he likes me for:
1) my amazing smile
2) my amazing blue eyes
3) the way I mumble when I talk (apparently cute)
4) my fandom obsessions like HP, Twilight, Leonardo DiCaprio, etc.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would like to welcome all of my avid followers to a new and very, very thrilling segment that I'll be exploring in this and future blog posts.

What is this segment called, you might ask?
Why, nothing other than The Danny Diaries. 
This is where it gets intense.
This is where real love happens.
This is where I find out that magic doesn't only happen in the wizarding world.
That dreams come true even in Missouri.
That kisses are a beautiful thing when they're with the right person.

I will be chronologuing (what? is that a word?) every date I go on with my new boyfriend, Danny. I'll probably usually be copying this word for word from my LEGIT COMPOSITION NOTEBOOK (you know, those black and white things that are only like a dollar). So please enjoy. (:

And, by the way, Danny is just Derek, only Danny's his real name. I got tired of making sure I didn't use his real name in my posts, and, well, I get the feeling no one I know will ever read this blog. So I think/hope it's safe.
Every word of the following entry is copied from my journal the day after it happened; and nothing from this point out is a lie/fudging of the truth. IT'S COMING TO YOU REAL, PEOPLE.

-drumroll-
You are now embarking on POST NUMBER ONE of THE DANNY DIARIES. :D 


7/18/11
Eeeeee!! Last night was the best night of my life!!! Danny texted me to ask me to the movies around 7. I thought it'd just be as friends, because of the bro code and stuff. But it seemed more serious (and awkward) than just hanging out. Anyway, the theaters by my house closed at 8 so we decided to go to Laumeier Park instead (where I am now, incidentally). ooc: I went back to the picnic bench where he first asked me out to write this journal entry. /bic
We walked around in the forest for about an hour (where it was dark) and played Truth and just talked about stuff. When we got to this picnic table we laid down on it to look at the stars. Then he asked me what this meant, like if we're just friends or something more. I was like, "Is it allowed to be more? Cause of, you know, the bro code, and Josh?" And he just said, "Nature trumps bro code every time." Which meant that our relationship was more important than the bro code/his friendship with Josh!!" So after awhile I finally said, "Do I want to go out with you? Yes." And then he asked me, "Jessie, do you want to go out with me?" cause he had to be the man and say it himself. And then I said yes!! So we laid there a little longer. He said my hair looked pretty. We started walking back to his car then. On the way, he asked me if it'd be okay if he hugged me. I said, "Um, sure. That would be the opposite of bad."
So then he hugged me and I put my arms around his waist, and then he picked me up and spun me around like a little kid. After that he just kind of held me there for a second, and his face was like five inches from mine. It was magical. Then he just laughed and put me down and was like, "Well, that was kinda awkward."
"Opposite of terrible, you mean?" (in my head)
Woo-hoo! 
I'm the happiest girl IN THE WORLD.
My dreams have all come true.


/endpost

For future records, I started dating the most handsome man in the world at approximately 10PM on July 17th, 2011, in the year of our Lord.

HALLELUJAH

Misunderstandings and Manifestations of Love

Hey! So, today's kind of the best day of my life. Derek told me he wasn't lying when he said I was his perfect girl. That I misunderstood his later explanation. When I asked him to explain it to me, here's what he said. (via text)

Derek: When did you break up with Jared?

Me: June 8th I think? (I know exactly. It was June 8th at 9PM.

Derek: So approx 1 month ago. Bro Code says i cant even hint at liking you for three months after you break up with mah bro. So, that was my hint without hinting. 

But you clearly misunderstood so it backfired and i feel utterly hapless...

Me: But two months is a reaallyy long time. And you said you were 'just playing around' so of course I misunderstood!

Derek: Well im sorry i was forced! I dont wanna piss off the bro gods!

Later he asked me if I'd ever been kissed in the rain. <3

And another question: how much do you think Shanon will freak when you update her? Bout what i cleared up tonight. She was going ballistic about me "leading you on" etc..."

okay I'm bored. That's all.

Buena noche y yo me amo Derek.

Sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes it hurts instead

Derek COMPLETELY screwed me over this past week. It was fun.

We were playing the game Truth. In the game Truth, you just ask each other questions about life and stuff. You're allowed one skip throughout the entire game. And you have to be COMPLETELY HONEST or you lose.

So it was going fine, we were asking each other stupid questions. Then he asked me what my least favorite thing about myself is. I said my shortness. Then he replied, "Whaaat? Short women are hot! They're the perfect height to rest their head on their date's shoulder or chest while slowdancing and that's hot!"
So... I was kinda getting the feeling that he liked me. Crazy? Maybe. Whatever.
Later I asked him what he thought of my personality. He just said, "Amazing."


Next question... He asks me who my perfect guy would be... I say, "Chivalrous, charismatic, honest, trustworthy, reliable, pretty eyes and nice hair, blah blah blah" and then he told his friend who told him it was "pretty much a biography of Derek" so then Derek was like, "I'm allowed to say, nice taste xD"
Then I asked him who his ideal girl would be.
(THIS IS THE BEST PART BTW)
Derek's reply. "Lol ahem... blond, blue eyes, bout 5' 4", likes harry potter, loves to travel to places like Florida, obsesses over actors, lets me cheat off her homework... did I miss anything? xD"


Um, all of that stuff describes me. 
So of course I'm like, !!!!!!!! <3 and start jumping up and down and dancing. Cause by this point it's like 2 AM and no one else is up. And I'm in a condo on Sanibel Island on the floor using my brother's laptop.
So then we just keep talking like normal... I kind of make a few hints referring to the implications of his latest answer... but nothing big, and he just goes along with it.
I go to sleep that night the happiest girl in the world. I listen to love songs on my iPod until I pass out from exhaustion and exploding happiness.


Next morning (and I admit this was probably not my best idea) I text him and say, "So, just wondering... am I really your ideal girl? Or was that all a dream?"
He's like, "Ideal girl? Whoa what are you talking about? Did I miss something???"
Then I'm like, "Oh guess it was all a dream, never mind..." secretly thinking, "SCREW YOU SCREW YOU SCREW YOU" in my head the whole time.
His reply, as he finally gets it.."XD before i say anything more, i'm going to tell you that i turn into a werewolf between the hours of 12 and 3 and i no longer have control over what i say."
"I was sorta playing around, although you ARE really cool... But i couldn't even HINT at liking you or anything for another two months anyway."


And then the 'SCREW YOU' bells really started ringing. At this point if I had been in his presence I would have STRANGLED him. I CANNOT BELIEVE HE SCREWED ME OVER LIKE THAT!!! I MEAN, WHAT THE HECK??


WE WERE PLAYING TRUTH. AND HE LIED. *cries* *stabs heart out*


Then I reply like an hour later when I'm sort of calmed down.. "It's cool. I just didn't know how else I was supposed to take that."


And he's like, "Yep sry. Like i said, im really weird late at night. So how's life?"


Anyway... last night we were FB chatting and then around 11:40 I said, "I'm gonna go now before you turn into a werewolf and screw me over again, so bye!"
and he's like, "what???"
but I log off before he can answer... then he texts me asking if I was serious. I was like, yeah. He was like, when was I a werewolf? I didn't get angry earlier. Then I was like, what are you talking about?
Then he was like, well what are you talking about?
So I told him, kind of, what I was talking about.
And he was like oh sry.. miscommunication... I feel like an idiot, so I'm going to go jump off a bridge now.


IDK WHAT TO THINK ABOUT ANY OF THIS

ESTOY LOCA, PUES... ADIOS!!!