Starfish!

Starfish!
I drew these with my Bamboo tablet.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

You're Wondering Where I've Been

Yeah, I just sort of quoted STYX in my title. The best band ever, pretty much.

So, where did we leave off? A long, long time ago... before I started dating Jared.

WHAT??! I DATED JARED? YES IT'S TRUE. Let me tell you the story of our relationship.


He liked this girl named Erica in middle school. He asked me to homecoming freshman year. I thought we just were going as friends. Nothing else happens. About a year ago he starts dating this girl named Kelly. They broke up a few months ago. At this point I'm completely in love with Derek. Anyway. After that Jared was back in love with Erica. Then our high school choir went on this trip to Disneyland. On the plane I told him the truth, which was that Erica didn't love him. He accepted this. After the trip he seemed to be talking to me a lot more... I guess that's when it all started.
Then for prom he asked this girl named Danielle. She turned him down. He said he 'felt all wrong about it anyway.' Then the next day he asked me to prom with a fortune from a fortune cookie (which was really cute). And then prom happened. My friend Sharon was going to prom with this senior she had sort of liked in the past, but who had started dating this freshman a day before prom. This same freshman was thought to have been a lesbian. Sharon was not excited about going to prom with this guy. Anyway this part of the story doesn't really matter.
So at prom, it was fun... until Jared and I started slowdancing. The music was really loud and he  was trying to talk to me about really serious things and I couldn't hear him... and it was really awkward. And at one point he asked me if I liked him. And I said kind of. And I thought he asked me out at that point... but later found out he didn't. I still don't know what he said.
Then later we went to Steak 'n Shake. There he asked me if I wanted to go on other dates with him. I said yes.
Then. THEN. Stupid Darren came in with his friend Melissa (who incidentally had dated the freshman that was now dating the senior that took Sharon to prom). We were having a normal conversation and then he said something about Jared being my boyfriend. And of course, being the cowardly bunny rabbit that I am, said nothing. Later Josh asked me if I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I don't really know why I said yes. Then he kissed me on my porch. This was at 1 AM on May 1st. Just for my personal record. That's when we started dating.
Things were kind of awkward for awhile. We didn't seem to know what we were doing. What we wanted. What our relationship was. After about a week we decided that we were, in fact, dating. xP
We went to the movies together to see Pirates 4. Which was nice. He asked me if I still liked Derek. I lied. I said no. He kissed me again.
My friends and I and Jared all went to see the Hangover part II. Afterwards he talked to me about how he had forgotten our anniversary of one month and that he was sorry. He kissed me again. That was our last kiss.
Time passed.
Catherine (Derek's girlfriend) and Derek broke up.
I was elated.
I realized that I couldn't continue seeing Jared while I was in love with someone else.
I thought seriously about my relationship with Jared, though. We had a lot in common, but... talking to him was kind of awkward. So was kissing him. It didn't feel right. THERE WAS NO MAGIC.
I talked to Derek on facebook chat about this. He counseled me for hours, finally convincing me to set up a date with Jared to talk about our relationship. He said 'the girl dies' if you don't talk to him by Wednesday.
So I told Jared to meet me at Borders on Wednesday.
We talked. About life. After about an hour we decided that we needed to figure out our relationship. finally.
He wanted to see my phone for a second. I wouldn't let him (because I'd saved every one of Derek's texts and deleted almost all of Jared's). Apparently this was a trust issue. Jared said I had to trust him completely. I said I couldn't do that. Apparently now I have trust issues.
He gave me an ultimatum. Either I could trust him completely, and we have a full-on relationship (we didn't already??), or we go back to just being friends.
After stalling for awhile I told him I couldn't completely trust him. And I chose the second option.
Now I guess I'm free to date Derek... but he doesn't seem interested.
I've been on facebook chat for like an hour and he hasn't said anything to me.
Then again, I'm always the one that initiates it.
I just don't want to be annoying to him.
I want to marry him. ;_;



DOMO ARIGATO MR. ROBOTO